For the friend
Someone asked you
to be their person.
It takes a few minutes a day for seven days, and it is the part of this that works best. Here is everything you need to do.
Four things. That's the whole job.
You are not their doctor or their conscience. You are the person who notices.
Before day one: bring the supplies
Unsweetened grapefruit juice, vitamin C tablets, a strong cinnamon mouthwash, a spare toothbrush, fruit and raw veg. Hand them over as a gift on quit day. Then help plan every evening of the week so there's no empty time.
Answer the daily check-in
Every evening they'll text you how the day went. Reply within the hour if you can. Two lines is plenty. If nothing arrives by nine, text them first.
Pick up when it's hard
When a craving hits they may send a short "hard moment" text. Call them if you can, or text back straight away. Keep them talking for five minutes. That is usually enough.
Run day seven
On the last day the celebration is yours to plan. A meal, a walk, a call with the family. Serve fruit, not cake. Make it feel different from the other six days.
Short, warm, and not a lecture.
They already know smoking is bad for them. What they need to hear is that someone is watching them win.
- ✓"Day three. That's real."Count the days back to them. Numbers feel like progress.
- ✓"What was the hardest bit today?"One question, then listen.
- ✓"I'm around tonight if you need me."Say it even if they don't use it.
- ✕Don't ask "did you have one?"If they slipped they will tell you. Ask how they're doing instead.
- ✕Don't smoke or drink in front of them this week.Even if you normally would.
- ✓If you pray, pray for them each morning.Tell them you are. Bring your household in on it too: they can make the signs.
One cigarette is a stumble, not a fall.
The plan carries on. Your job is to make sure they don't turn one into a pack.
- 1Thank them for telling you.Honesty is the thing to reward here.
- 2Ask if the rest is in the bin.If not, ask them to do it while you're on the phone.
- 3Set the next check-in."Text me at eight." Then be there at eight.
Put the seven evenings in your calendar.
Enter the date they quit. This adds one reminder each evening for a week, plus the day-seven celebration. Nothing else.
Tick each evening you checked in.
Stays on your phone. Nobody else sees it.